News To Me: Bye Bye Mercedes

Since I have entered the working world, there have been quite a few revelations that no one prepared me for.  One of them being how my view on cars will change.

I used to day dream about driving a Mercedes convertible a la Lauren Conrad circa 2006/The Hills/Jason-era.  Honestly.  I pictured myself in that terrible 3 inch headband with bleached out straight hair and crying because Jason just broke up with me even though I skipped Paris and spent the entire Summer to coddle his drug-riddled ass.

lc and jason breakup

You can’t see it, but I know this scene like the back of my hand and that beautiful little Mercedes is sitting just below the cut off of this picture.

Waitwhatjusthappened? *blinks twice. wipes drool off face*

I quickly snapped out of that day dream because I came to my senses on a lot of things.

1. Those headbands are terrible.

2. Jason Wahler is a grease ball who needed to change everything about himself.  That cocaine is not doing any favors for his sweat glands.

3. Why would anyone in their right mind dress exactly like their significant other on purpose(did you notice the collared black shirts)?

And those were literally the only reasons I needed to persuade myself that I didn’t need a Mercedes anymore and something with better fuel mileage is now my dream car.

I am now obsessed with a Toyota Prius. Probably used.

Not the C class though because I’m not barbaric.  And don’t try to make a Prius sound cool by telling me that Leonardo Dicrapio(yes…crapio) has one.  I’d be more convinced of it’s coolness factor if you told me that Susan Sarandon drives it to go pick up her prescription at Walgreens. Then I’d be all “say whhaaa? I need ta gemme one ah dohs.”

It has a working speedometer, cruise control, a CD player and no Jason Wahler attached begging for me to drive him to go pick up some more coke.

This is all news to me.

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